thirdratedstar

thirdratedstar @ 2006-07-22T23:38:00

2006-07-22T22:46:21Z

I'm a-freaking-live!!!

Title: Drabble // Whore
Author: thirdratedstar//underthesin//Andii
Pairing[s]: KyoxToshiya
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Not mine. Not real.
Comments: ..Morbid drabbley-oneshot thingie.

"For fuck sake Toshiya! Why can't you stop being such a whore?!"

"Whore?! ME?!"

"No, the milkman. OF COURSE YOU."

"I'm not fucking whore, Kyo! Stop calling me that!"

"What else do I call you then? Slut? Hooker? Hustler? Prostitute? strumpet?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"Truth too hard to handle Toshiya?"

"FUCK YOU, NIIMURA."

"Just don't get our names mixed up when you fuck him again, 'kay? I'm sure Kaoru's ego would HATE IT if you got one letter wrong."

"I didn't fuck him, Kyo!! Why can't you trust your own fucking boyfriend?"

"You're Hara Toshi-fucking-masa. The bitch of Dir en grey! The pretty bassist that loves fanservice, short skirts and fucks in a toilet stall. How can I trust you? "

"I've had e-fucking-nough of this, Kyo! If you can't fucking trust me on this, it's over."

"I wouldn't care even if you died, Toshiya!"

"You know what? You should watch what the fuck you say, it just may come true!"

How long had it been?

Maybe too long.

I hate myself for it.

I wake up every morning and I wish to whatever dieties there are that you were still lying beside me.

I wish I hadn't killed you.

If only i'd bit back my insecurities and my jealousy.
Maybe i'd have you here beside me, curled up against my side as you smiled in your sleep.
That secret smile that was mine.

Tears dry against my cheeks and I press two kissed finger-tips to the name I cherish on the tombstone.

I was a sucky liar now, wasn't I?

I'm sorry, Toshiya.

So goddamn sorry.

I love you.

x-posted to kyoxtoshiya, too.

Gazette - AoiXUruha - Prologue - "Firsts..."

2006-06-05T21:04:37Z

Title: Firsts..
Author: thirdratedstar//underthesin//Andii
Band[s]: Gazette
Characters: Aoi//Uruha//Reita//Kai//Ruki//Mikana[OC]//[more later.]
Pairing[s]: Major// AoiXUruha
Chapters: Prologue
Rating: Pg [right now]
Genre: Pretty much fluff. Full stop.
Disclaimer: I own them and their children, obviously.
Sypnosis: A Story Of How It All Came Together
Comments: Right. Multi-chapter fic this time.
If you read, please comment. I know I haven't got the talent of say, chantrea_johari or screaming_003, but if you read, comments would be nice, it makes writers feel loved.
CC is always welcome, too.

The blonde man sat against the concrete PSC wall, nursing a incinerating cigarette whilst his thin, elegant fingers plucked away at the metal strings on his guitar, playing some un-named tune in his head.

"Closet Oshare Kei fan, are we, Uru-chan?" A voice inturrupted, and the blonde moved his head to veiw the offending voice.

"Aoi-kun, I don't get you." The blonde, finally taking the cigarette out of his mouth and flicking it into some unknown direction.

"You were playing Panic Channel." The brunette stated with a chuckled, squatting down to the blonde's eyelevel. Uruha laughed.

"Oh really? I had the tune stuck in my mind, it must have been something Mikana has been listening to lately..." The blonde facted, tucking bleached strands of hair behind his ears, mentally noting to get aforementioned roommate to re-dye it.

"Yeah, most likely, knowing her. She's an odd girl when she's supposed to be in a Visual Kei band.." The black-haired male mused, sitting himself against the wall next to Uruha.

"Yeah, but she pulls off the Indies look better then we ever did. Although my skirts were shorter then hers." The younger stated, a smile on his lips in reminicance of their Indies days.

"She's not a slut though.." Aoi corrected, laughing loudly.

"Hey! Don't be mean to me, i'm a delicate little thing!" Uruha defended, back-handing Aoi's arm harshly. The elder pouted at Uruha and they both laughed at each other.

"Uh....Uru-chan, c-can I tell you something?" The black-haired male asked quietly, peircing the silence that had formed, avoiding Uruha's gaze when the blonde looked at him.

"Of course you can, Aoi-kun.." The blonde answered softly, intrested in Aoi's sudden change off mood, placing his hand on the others knee for encouragement. The raven-haired male's own hand took the younger's and he stared down at it.

"Uh...Uru....I-I..." He muttered, trying desperatly to think of the words he had prepared inhis mind. The blonde giggled at him slightly.

"Aoi-kun, do you like me?" Uruha asked innocently, and the raven-haired male's head shot up quickly, looking at the blonde like he was insane.

"I-Uh...How?.." The elder managed to stutter, and the younger one giggled again, squeazing his hand slightly.

"Aoi-kun?"

"Uh....Yeah?" The blonde slipped his guitar off his lap and leant up to press a sweet kiss on Aoi's cheek.

"I like you too." And with that, Uruha's hand slid out of the elder's, and he got to his feet, holding his guitar's neck in one hand, offering the other to the male on the floor. "Practice started a few minutes ago, come on, otherwise Kai'll kill us!" Aoi took the blonde's hand, and they wandered back inside the building, the raven-head admiring exactly how right his hand felt holding Uruha's.
"And I hope you're going to take me on a date soon and spoil me rotten!" Uruha added cheekily, a playful glint in his eye as Aoi looked up at him.

Gazette - AoiXUruha - I'll Be Yours

2006-05-28T18:51:11Z

Title: I'll Be Yours
Author: thirdratedstar//underthesin//Andii
Band[s]: Gazette
Characters: Aoi//Uruha
Pairing[s]: AoiXUruha
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Slight angst, some fluff. Blahness.
Disclaimer: Obviously I own them.
Sypnosis: "I know you're hurting, Aoi"
Comments: Next in the Placebo-Song-Fic series.
Song is I'll Be Yours
[to hear the song, click on the first one and a player will come up. Youtube only had the fast version]

I'll be your water bathing you clean
The liquid piece

I'm standing against your hallway wall, staring at you slumped against the opposite one.
"You shouldn't of come."
And of course you'd say that.
"You need me, Aoi. You know you do."
And you give a small, rare smile.

I'll be your ether you'll breathe me in
You won't release

We're sat on this sofa again, your staring at nothing as I stare at you.
"You don't need to be here"
You're too stubborn, you know.
"But I want to."
You let a small laugh escape those pliant lips.

Well I've seen you suffer, I've seen you cry the whole night through
So I'll be your water bathing you clean
Liquid blue

I'm still here, watching you sleep.
"I'm fine, Uruha"
But you're not.
"I know you're hurting, Aoi."
And you let the tears fall freely, just for me.

I'll be your father, I'll be your mother,
I'll be your lover, I'll be yours
I'll be your liqour bathing your soul
Juice that's pure

You're drinking away your sorrows.
"I'm not drunk, Uruha."
But you are.
"Shush. I'll help you."
And my lips press against yours.

And I'll be your anchor you'll never leave
Shores that cure

And my body pins you down.
"Uruha, I wasn't going-"
But I know you're lying
"Damn right you weren't."
And a sad smile claims your lips.

Well I've seen you suffer, I've seen you cry for days and days
So I'll be your liqour demons will drown
And float away

Your arms circle my naked waist in the midst of the night.
"Never leave me, Uruha."
And I smile into the blackness.
"I'd never."
And I feel your smile radiates against my skin.

I'll be your father, I'll be your mother,
I'll be your lover, I'll be yours

And I haven't left, smiling as you do.

"Uruha..."

"I think....."

"...I think I love you."

Yours...

--
..You decide what happened to Aoi to make him like that.
I like the anonity.

Gazette - AoiXUruha - Song To Say Goodbye

2006-05-21T19:45:32Z

Title: Song To Say Goodbye.
Author: thirdratedstar//underthesin//Andii
Band[s]: Gazette
Characters: Aoi//Uruha
Pairing[s]: AoiXUruha
Rating: R
Genre: Angst, songfic, deathfic. Masochism, Drug-use and suicide warnings.
Disclaimer: I pretend I own them, but I don't. Neather do I own this song.
Sypnosis: "Uru-baby. Your hurting me aswell. Please, I beg you.."
Comments: I fucking adore Placebo.
This is the first of a few Placebo-songfics i'm doing for Uruha and Aoi. Aw.
The song is their newest single, Song To Say Goodbye.

I know what you're up to.
I know why your not answering me.
Your ruining yourself.
Tainting your perfection.
Slowly losing grip of reality.
Slowly losing.
Me.

You are one of God's mistakes,
You crying, tragic waste of skin,
I'm well aware of how it aches ,
And you still won't let me in.

I'm screaming through the door.
I know your hurting.
But Uru-baby, your hurting me too.
I beg you..

Now I'm breaking down your door,
To try and save your swollen face ,

This time you don't sheepishly open the door.
No strings of apologies flowing out of those lips.
My foot comes into contact the the door.
It falls in and I rush to you.
Your where I thought, sat on the bathroom.
Needle in arm.

Though I don't like you anymore,
You lying, trying waste of space..

Our eyes meet.
Your crying.
I am too.
"I can't love you like this"
I can't, that's true.
Your destroying yourself.
"I'm sorry"
Did you mean that?

Before our innocence was lost,
You were always one of those ,
Blessed with lucky sevens ,
And the voice that made me cry .
My Oh My

I wanted the old you back.
Before you turned into this.
Before the drinking.
Before the masochism.
Before the drugs.
You were the perfection.
You were everything I could dream of.

When Did I Lose You, Uruha?

You were mother nature's son ,
Someone to whom I could relate ,
Your needle and your damage done,
Remains a sorted twist of fate.

I'm still here as you cry openly in my arms.
I'm cleaning your fresh cuts.
Easing you from your high.
"I don't mean to hurt you"
But you do, Uru.
"I love you so much Aoi.
I'm so fucking sorry"

Now I'm trying to wake you up ,
To pull you from the liquid sky ,
Coz if I don't we'll both end up ,
With just your song to say goodbye.
My Oh My.

I wake up with you in my arms.
Your blood stained the sheets.
But your still an angel in this picture.
I kiss your hair and your mind leaves the buzz of your high.
Your still not over it yet.
But I need to help you.
I need to do this.
For You.
For Me.
For Us.
For Our Future.
And I love you.

A song to say goodbye,
A song to say goodbye ,
A song to say...

The image of a happy male in a skirt haunts my mind.
The memory of our first kiss.
The first time I made love to you.
Your innocence.
Your perfection.

Before our innocence was lost,
You were always one of those,
Blessed with lucky sevens,
And the voice that made me cry.

I push my way into your apartment again.
I know where you are.
Your back to doing it again.
I open your bathroom door.
And it's over.
Everything.
Your body, doused in your life littered the tiles.
'I Love You. Sorry'
Smeared across the wall in the reason you left.
I couldn't help you.
I couldn't get it right.

I'm so sorry, Uru-baby.
I'm sorry and I hold your body for dear life.
I'm sorry and I kiss your cold, beautiful lips.
I'm sorry as I drag the blade across my own throat.
I'm sorry it had to be this way.

It's a song to say goodbye.

--

O___O, I am so sorry. I originally didn't want to do that.

Beginning

2006-04-19T21:53:05Z

Reeeeeead. Because I say so. It has info.

Title: Beginning
Author: Andii. thirdratedstar / underthesin
Pairings: DieXShinya
Rating: G [innocent.]
Genre: Complete fluff.
Sypnosis: 'Aren't beginnings beautiful?"
Author's Notes: I'm underthesin! Hello. This is a fic journal. Yaye.
This is on of my [100] fics for slash_100. It's short. Very short. But..it needs to be there.
*nod*

Beginnings

"Die?"
His tone was soft, barely audible in the night's stillnes, yet, said male rolled on his side to face his questioner, and once his eyes ajusted to the darkness, he gave the drummer sitting on the edge of his hotel bed a dozy smile.

"Aww. Does Shin-chan want a cuddle?" The redhead teased sleepily, watching the frail man nod timidly. This wasn't the first time on their tours the drummer seeked Die's comfort at god-knows-what hours in the mornings, but, with Shinya being Shinya and Die being Die, he would never deny the drummer his affection. 'Labour Of Love' as Kaoru had labelled it.
"Come here, Shin-chan." The guitarist whispered, pulling back the warm comforter and accepting the slightly cold body in front of him, and they shared a sweet smile before Die pulled the drummer to his chest, inhaling the scent of Shinya's hair and sighing with content. He started twirling strands of the younger male's hair around his finger absent-mindedly.
"Go to sleep, Shin. It's been a long tour." The guitarist whispered, Shinya's fingered danced over the other's naked chest.

"Ne, Daidai?" He asked in that ghost of a voice, and Die gave him a lazy grunt for an encouragement to go on. "You..You know what you said, that day?"

"Yeah. And I still mean it." He whispered truthfully, slightly dissapointed when the room feel silent for a few more minutes.

"Die?" The drummer asked soflty again, and Die stopped his ministrations in Shinya's hair.

"Mhmm?"

"I really like you too, Daidai." He said, placing a small kiss on the guitarist's chest. Die simply grinned. He had never quite felt so...floaty. And he could feel Shinya's smile against his chest.

"We have a long day tomorrow, baby. Go to sleep and we can talk in the morning." Die reasoned, still grinning, and he shifted his body so he was lying on his back, bringing Shinya into his arms so his head rest on his shoulder.

"Die?"

"Shin-chan, you really need to sleep now."

"Shh. I just wanted to say.." A pause. "It's always been you." Die laughed softly and kissed the top of Shinya's head, and the latter nuzzled his face into the crook of his older lover's neck, enjoying the scent of pure Die.

"I love you, Shin-chan." The redhead whispered as the brunette slipped into slumber, the moonlight emitting enough light for Die to notice Shinya smiling in his sleep.

Aren't beginnings beautiful?

--</lj>

x posted to thirdratedstar : die_shinya : direngrey_yaoi : jrockyaoi

Slash_100 Table

2006-04-13T11:23:17Z

This is my table for my slash_100 Claim.
Which is, quite obviously Die and Shinya. ^^.

Under the cut, there's some background or something for the claim.

Profiles:

Andou Daisuke [Die]
26
Guitarist and Joker
Lover of Cancer Sticks and Taiwanese Beer
I ♥ With Shin

Terachi Shinya [Shinya]
23
Drummer and The Quiet One
Lover of his Dog Miyu and Morning Monsume
In ♥ with Die

Hara Toshimasa [Toshiya/Totchi]
24
Bassist and Hyperactive, Shopping-mad, Feminine Ball Of Energy.
Lover of his Bass, Make-up, petting Kyo, pretty things and lots of sex with Kaoru.
~~Can't get out of Kaoru's pants~~ In ♥ with Kaoru

Niikura Kaoru [Kaoru]
27
Guitarist and Leader-Sama
Lover of work, work, work, work, work and more work. And sex with Toshiya -anywhere-.
In ♥ with Toshiya.

Niimura Tooru [Kyo.]
26
Vocalist, Prophet and "The Short, Cute blonde thing."
Lover of screaming, sleeping, smoking, more screaming, gay skipping, peircings and scary things.
In ♥ with his mirror.

*nod* For later chapters, there's also another character added in. Her name's Anji [Psh, i'm allowed to put myself in these.] and she's an english girl who's 24 years old, she designs and makes a lot of Diru's costumes, is Toshiya's shopping buddy and close friend of the band. Note she's from england, it'll help make sense later. She'll have a decent profile soon.

Setting The Scene:

In the first fic of the series, Dir En Grey are at the end of one of their tours. That first fic is pretty much a flashback informing you that Die and Shinya are infact together.
The next fic will be placed two years afterwards.
The whole scene going on in this, is their working up to record a new album [there's no actual album, the songs going on it are my favourites.]. And. That's all you need to know right -now-.

Have fun reading.

001.	Beginnings.	002.	Middles.	003.	Ends.	004.	Firsts.	005.	Lasts.
006.	Hours.	007.	Days.	008.	Weeks.	009.	Months.	010.	Years.
011.	Friends.	012.	Enemies.	013.	Lovers.	014.	Strangers.	015.	Classmates.
016.	Family.	017.	Parents.	018.	Children.	019.	Him.	020.	Her.
021.	Birth.	022.	Death.	023.	Life.	024.	Choices.	025.	Accident.
026.	Smell.	027.	Sound.	028.	Touch.	029.	Taste.	030.	Sight.
031.	Sunrise.	032.	Sunset.	033.	Too Much.	034.	Not Enough.	035.	Mask.
036.	Breakfast.	037.	Lunch.	038.	Dinner.	039.	Food.	040.	Drink.
041.	Rain.	042.	Snow.	043.	Lightning.	044.	Thunder.	045.	Storm.
046.	Winter.	047.	Summer.	048.	Spring.	049.	Fall.	050.	Vacation.
051.	Humor.	052.	Angst.	053.	Fluff.	054.	And.	055.	If.
056.	Birthday.	057.	Christmas.	058.	Thanksgiving.	059.	Halloween.	060.	New Year.
061.	Broken.	062.	Shattered.	063.	Hurt.	064.	Agony.	065.	Healing.
066.	Anger.	067.	Love.	068.	Loss.	069.	Jealousy.	070.	Denial.
071.	Sex.	072.	Kink.	073.	Threesome.	074.	Seduction.	075.	Party.
076.	Secrets	077.	Betrayal	078.	Discovery	079.	Confession	080.	Redemption
081.	School	082.	Work	083.	Home	084.	High	085.	Low
086.	Circle.	087.	Heart.	088.	Lost.	089.	Found.	090.	Missing.
091.	Epiphany.	092.	Dream.	093.	Break-up.	094.	Make-up.	095.	Lies.
096.	Writer‘s Choice.	097.	Writer‘s Choice.	098.	Writer‘s Choice.	099.	Writer‘s Choice.	100.	Writer‘s Choice.